Special Interview 1: 「How Much RINA Can Do」
I think it's true for everyone, but family is really important. It's where I started from.
Before SCANDAL
──What kind of child were you?I think I really was a handful. I was always clinging to my teacher, and I would go and ask "How do you this?" for anything, or would say that I wanted to carry the flag for sports day. I'd hog the teacher with my group of close friends and would get jealous when other kids would go up to the teacher. I was a very jealous child. Also, my mother would be really happy when I'd win first place in relay at sports meets, and that made me very happy. That's why I worked very hard at running. I also learned gymnastics. I went to lessons every day in kindergarten. Swimming, calligraphy, abacus, English, piano—my schedule was jam-packed. I was very busy even at a young age (laughs). Even in kindergarten I would tell stories like, "I've done this-and-this before," and show off in front of everyone.
──Why did you go to so many lessons?My mother was the kind of person who wanted her children to be able to all kinds of things. She wouldn't force me to do anything I didn't want to, but she would take me to things that she thought I'd be interested in. I was in a children's theater company from kindergarten until I was in 3rd or 4th grade. When I kept insisting that I wanted to go, she found an ad for a theater school in the newspaper. I applied, got accepted, and started taking lessons.
Actually, my mother also wanted to be an entertainer. That dream never came true, though, because her parents were against it. My mother never once said to me, "Why don't you become someone who appears on TV?", but I think she was really happy that I naturally became interested in that kind of thing. So, she supported me in many ways.
──Did you join a theater company because you wanted to work in the entertainment industry?I already found myself saying at...3 years old that I wanted to be an entertainer. I wanted to be "the person on TV," so I'd stand behind the TV and dance and sing. I thought if I went behind the TV, I could appear on the TV. I would ask my mother, "Am I on the TV?" and she'd say yes (laughs).
──How did you first become interested in "being on TV"?One reason is that I was a kid who watched a lot of TV, and when I was little, I used to sing with a toy microphone filled with ramune candy. My grandma and mother were so happy when they saw me singing and dancing. I was happy that my dancing and singing made the people around me laugh and be happy. Maybe that's what started it all. Before long, after my grandparents bought a real karaoke machine, they would say, "RINA-chan, sing!" and I would sing often.
──What songs did you sing at that time?I was singing nothing but Seiko Matsuda songs in kindergarten (laughs). My mother loved Seiko Matsuda and always sang "Anata ni Aitakute ~Missing You~," so I learned it naturally. When we'd go as a family to a karaoke place that gave you scores, my mother would get a score of 95 for "Anata ni Aitakute ~Missing You~." When I sang after her, I got 90. I was so frustrated that I cried a lot (laughs). I hated to lose.
──Did you enjoy the theater group?Well, I think the theater company was the first setback of my life (laughs). From the day I joined, we would do vocal exercises and acting exercises, but the level was so high. It was already like all the tiger mothers were there, and my mother was not like that at all. On my first day, we were given a text for a play and had time to learn our lines, but since I was a kindergartener, I couldn't even read simple kanji characters. When they asked me to read a line, I couldn't do anything because I couldn't read it. I was so hurt on the first day of lessons that I hugged my mother and cried afterwards. I was so angry at myself for not being able to do it.
──You weren't like, "I'm quitting!"?No. As soon as I got home, I had my mother write out the furigana for all the pages. I kept practicing my acting with her. I had some setbacks at first, but I ended up being in the group from kindergarten to 3rd or 4th grade. I guess I am a very serious and competitive person.
I'm a lone wolf type.
I don't like the feeling of girls crowding around each otherFor better or worse, I stood out. I was quite tall and fashionable in the first grade. If I saw my classmates on the street, they would think I was flashy. But I also liked studying. When I understood a problem in class, I would take the initiative and raise my hand. I was the type of person who people would be like, "RINA's raising her hand again." I enjoyed the problems on printouts so much that I would start doing my summer homework the moment it was handed out (laughs). There was a homework assignment called "Ano ne (You know what?) notebook." It was a kind of diary or composition that began with the words, "Teacher, you know what?" The teacher would read what I had written and mark the parts they thought were good with wavy lines. I had a lot of fun writing it.
──Was your writing praised?I think it's as good as anyone else's, but I kind of know what to write, like, "Maybe I should write like this!" My younger sister, who's 4 years younger than me, had entered 1st grade and was given a "Teacher, you know what?" assignment to write, so I was helping her and saying, "Write this," and trying to see if her teacher would actually put some wavy lines (laughs). Terrible, right?
──Did you have a lot of friends?This is still the case, but I prefer spending my time with a small group of good friends rather than a large number of people. I wrote about it in my blog titled "6-1" that there are about 2 or 3 people that I've been in contact with since elementary school. When I was in middle school, there was one kid I was really close with, and I felt like I was extremely devoted to them.
──What do you mean by "devoted"?Like, if they were in trouble, I'd definitely take their side no matter how many enemies they'd have. There weren't any situations like that, though (laughs). So, although I have a few good friends, I'm basically a lone wolf type. I don't like the feeling of girls crowding around each other. Girls gather in front of the mirror in the bathroom during recess to talk with each other even if they have nothing to do, right? I don't like that kind of thing. I would rather be alone in the classroom reading a book or something. I was totally fine being alone.
──Why were you okay with being alone?I wonder why? I'm just guessing, but I think there were a lot of times when I was like, "My mother will be there when I get home!" It was like, as long as I have my mother, I'll be fine. I really loved my mother.
"Come to think of it, you look like you're just a fad anyway" was said as a parting shot (laughs)
──What were you like in middle school?When I entered middle school, I joined the soft tennis club. When I was leaving school as an elementary student, I would see the middle school tennis courts through the wire fence and thought it would be cool to play tennis, so I joined the club. But when I joined, it turned out to be the weakest school in the prefecture (laughs). But I knew that if I really tried, I would definitely succeed. At that time, a new teacher from a strong school happened come and become the coach. They were very strict, but I was still a competitive person, so I was practicing hard and didn't want to lose any games. And for some reason, the coach named me captain.
──Wait, so you, a first-year student, suddenly became captain?Yeah. I was so surprised. I was like, "If they do that, I'll stand out again!" Ever since I was in elementary school, I've always been the type of person who attracts the attention of my seniors. I wouldn't do anything to them, but they would think I was precocious, conspicuous, or a nuisance. Sure enough, as soon as I became captain, all the second and third-year seniors quit. I didn't care that they quit, but I thought, "Oh no - with only these many players, we won't be able to compete in the team competition" (laughs). But I managed to play in two matches, and at the very last minute...we won the team competition! Girls have so much strength when push comes to shove. It was the first time I thought, "This is awesome."
──While you were working hard at your club activities, what happened to your dream of "wanting to be on TV"?I still held on to that dream, of course. I dreamed of standing on stage almost every day, and in my essays and graduation essays, I only ever wrote anything along the lines of, "My dream for the future is to be a perfomer.'' Perhaps my admiration was so strong that I put too much effort into it. I practiced singing so much before the day of an audition that the next day I felt like my eyes were vacant (laughs). I'd been spinning my wheels for a long time. I went to countless auditions on my own, but it never went well.
──How did your life start moving forward?When I was in middle school, I auditioned for a music agency and was accepted. But I didn't feel like I could make my debut right away. The people at the agency told me I should increase my repetoire before going to Tokyo, so I was introduced to a dance school in Osaka (Caless Vocal & Dance School) to practice singing and dancing. I joined a newbie training class but couldn't keep up with it at all. I used to play sports, so I was comfortable with basic drills, but dancing using completely different muscles. I couldn't remember the moves at all. I didn't have the stamina to keep up. Even then, I was so frustrated that I cried.
──It's the same kind of experience you had with the children's theater company. You still didn't think about quitting?I didn't. I finally had gotten my chance. From then on, I went to school before anyone else, took a position behind the teacher, and practiced as hard as I could. I bought a full-length mirror for the first time and practiced at home all the time. But after I'd been to the school about three times, someone from the school suddenly asked me if I wanted to join a band...
──Was that a happy thing?No, it was kind of frustrating. I'm here to dance and sing, and I'm like, "You mean I have no chance of improving?" But since I was actually struggling, I thought, "Yay! Maybe I can do this if I'm in a band." I felt both of those things. Moreover, the other three—HARUNA, MAMI, TOMOMI—were in the top class at school. I looked up to them, and they were already popular and had fans. So, while I was happy to be working with them, I had mixed feelings about whether I could really do it.
──Were you in the soft tennis club and the dance school at the same time?That's right. I really liked playing tennis and wanted to continue playing in middle school and even in high school, but once I started playing in the band, it became impossible for me to do both. Even the people at the dance school said things like, "You're doing club activities, too! You'll get burnt out!" and "If you're that burnt out, you won't be able to debut!'' (laughs).
So I quit the club. But even before that, I had been failing to fulfill my role as captain more and more. My coach was getting really angry. When I went to say, "I apologize for my selfishness, but I'm quitting the club," they told me, "Come to think of it, you look like you're just a fad anyway" as a parting shot (laughs). I don't know for sure, but I think they were shocked that chose the band. Or maybe it was the coach's way of encouraging me.
After all, the members have lived a little longer than me. I had a new-found respect for them again.
──Even if you were to play in the band, why play drums?Before I joined, there was actually another drummer. She was a girl in the same class as the other members and was just as popular as them. They would have been the strongest team. But she was good at dancing and singing, and was popular with audiences for that reason, so she seemed dissatisfied with the idea of playing the drums. So she quit and SCANDAL was a band without a drummer for a while. Then I came to the school and a teacher asked me to join the band. I didn't mind playing the drums, and because of the situation, I knew I had to quickly become as good as, if not better than, the other members. Also, I was afraid that if I couldn't dance or play the drums, I wouldn't be allowed to attend the school (laughs). So I practiced the drums for about 12 hours on the first day and was able to play an 8-beat rhythm. The teacher was surprised that I hadn't gone home yet (laughs).
──Did you fit in well, being the only junior?All of us are shy, so at first we were just trying to figure out what to talk about and what to call each other...but there were no boundaries between seniors/juniors with them. I felt comfortable from the beginning. I started texting MAMI first, then TOMOMI and I started practicing together after school since we both attended the Osaka branch, then I started talking with HARUNA. Little by little we all became friends.
──Did you ever clash with the members?There is one thing that really left an impression on me. SCANDAL in our indie days had a slightly different feel to our current image. We had a rock-ish feel to us, with high school girls in school uniforms playing music violently with hair swinging. Our promo photos had a mysterious feel to them, with our faces barely visible. That's why we tried to incorporate pop songs, cute outfits, and us dancing together. All of us had our doubts, but the other 3 accepted it as a positive meaning at some point. I honestly thought to myself, "Who is this going to resonate with?" It turned into some twisted thoughts. At that time, we were scheduled for dance lessons before filming a music video, but I was not very good at it and hated it so much. Because of that, there were days when I rebelled, saying, "I don't want to do this!" Even though the other members were taking their lessons properly, I would leave the studio without permission. Then, in the car on the way home, HARUNA quietly and strongly admonished me, saying, "You can't do that." It was the first time a member, especially HARUNA, had ever said something like that to me, and probably the last time. So, although I wasn't yelled at, nor did anyone get extremely angry at me, it stung a lot.
In the end, when we tried it out, the audience was really happy with it, and there was a tremendous amount of feedback from people overseas who saw our music video. I thought, "Ah, I'm glad I did this." After all, the members have lived a little longer than me. I had a new-found respect for them again.
About family
──From this point on, please tell us about your family and upbringing. You talked a lot about your mother in the first half of the interview, but what does she mean to you, RINA?I love her so much and she has been the most important person in my life since I was a child. My mother was frail and thin, and I felt like I had to protect her. She had asthma and was often rushed to the hospital by car. She told me to call an ambulance if she had an attack and gave me the number of the ambulance. After calling, I would turn off the gas, lock the door, and wait outside. I learned this from an early age, so I was able to do it from the time I was 6 or so.
──Despite being able to do those things, weren't you scared of being alone?I was. I was so anxious and like, "What's going to happen!?" But since I had my younger sister who's 4 years younger than me, I thought I shouldn't be so nervous and tried my best to stay strong.
──What about your father?My father ran his own company and was so busy that he rarely came home. When he did come home, it was at midnight, and he would leave early in the morning. So I guess I felt a sense of duty to protect my mother even more. Because of her asthma, we moved from Osaka to Nara when I entered elementary school in order to go somewhere with good air quality.
──Has she been feeling better since moving to Nara?Her asthma has gotten better. But around the time I was in 5th or 6th grade, my parents got divorced. I don't really care about the divorce. [Divorce] is a very common thing these days, and I don't think it's anything special. I'm on good terms with my father. But my mother started working at night and I hated it. I hated it when my mother comes home drunk. She would force herself to drink until late and then come home, telling me that she had to drink until her head hurt and she started acting strange. Also, I missed her because I didn't get to see her as much as I would have liked.
One day, my mother said she'd be home at 3 am and went out, so I sat at the front door and waited the whole time because I missed her. And yet, she didn't come home. When I looked at the clock and saw that it was 10 or 20 minutes past 3, I was so frustrated, worried, and angry. My head was filled with all sorts of emotions. There were times when I went outside and lined stones up in front of the front door that spelled out "I hate you, mother,'' locked the door, put the chain on, and went to sleep. Naturally, since the chain was on, my mother couldn't get into the house when she came home. When I heard banging on the door a little after 6 in the morning, I went to go open it and she finally got inside... Awful, huh (laughs).
──Did she get mad and go, "What are you doing?!"?She didn't say anything. I mean, I was still crying and angry. As a mother, I think she was worried, wondering what her child is feeling. Because of that experience, I still feel resistant to alcohol. I don't like it—or rather, I'm afraid of it. I can't ride the train at night. When I see people staggering around, it make me want to cry. That's why I can't go to after-parties. It's gotten better recently, but a while ago, I alone would go back to the hotel after a concert. I never talked about it with the members, so I think everyone was puzzled as to why I was like that.
──Did you often take that kind of anger out on your mother?I was so out of control (laughs). Even though I love her so much, I'd end up hitting her. I felt so neglected and didn't know why I was feeling this way. I was so frustrated that I couldn't put my feelings into words, so my emotions took over and I started crying.
──Can you put into words now what was bothering you when you were in elementary school?Let's see... When I saw her sacrificing herself, I thought, "Oh my God, what are you doing?!" I understand that mothers are willing to sacrifice themselves for the sake of their children. I think it's wonderful that you can think of others before yourself, and maybe the children should be very grateful that mothers think of their children first, but they should also think of themselves as equally being important. I think that's how children feel, and I think mothers are really wonderful people for being able to do that.
But there's no way I could have expressed that in words. Even now, the most stressful thing is feeling like I wasn't able to express my feelings well. I'm totally fine with not being able to sleep, but when something like that happens I feel really depressed. In the end, I started keeping a diary because I couldn't speak well. If I write down my thoughts and feelings, I can see things that I didn't even realize I was thinking. I started to be able to do that a little more from around middle school, but I was always terrible at it.
I'm a very popular person at my parents' house (laughs).
They're like, "A rare character's come back!"
──Please tell us about your siblings.My siblings are all different, face-wise and personality-wise (laughs). There are a total of 4 siblings: A sister 4 years younger than me; a brother 8 years younger than me; and two other siblings from when my mother remarried when I was in middle school, who are 16 and 20 years younger than me.
I don't feel much of an age difference between my younger sister and me, and we've always been close. My mother would come home late at night, so my sister and I would cook breakfast together and I would make lunch. In the morning, it was always toast and boiled eggs. Because I like boiled eggs. But because I ate them all the time, my sister started to really dislike boiled eggs (laughs). She started crying, saying, "I don't like boiled eggs because they taste like chicken." It was so cute.
She's taller than me now, and is pretty trendy. But she really admires me a lot. Not me, but "RINA of SCANDAL." Our makeup and hairstyles are exactly the same now (laughs). She also wants hand-me-down clothes, so once every few months I send to my parents' house a batch of clothes that I think she could wear.
My brother admires me in a different way than my sister. Every time he sees SCANDAL live, he says, "I want to form a band too. I want to play guitar." So I bought a guitar and amp for his birthday. He's gotten really good at it. He really respects MAMI. He says things like, "Doing that kind of phrase while harmonizing is amazing" (laughs).
Not sure about the little ones. I don't think the 3-year-old really understands who I am. I had already moved to Tokyo by the time they were born, and I've only met the youngest one a few times.
But they're really attached to me. When I was in my hotel room the day before our concert in Osaka-Jo Hall in 2013, my mother called me, saying, "They're crying because they want to talk to RINA-chan" (laughs). I was like, "What kind of emotion is that!?" (laughs). Lately, as they've grown up, they've been starting to understand, "This person is on TV, but she's my older sister.''
──With such a close parent-child relationship, wasn't it hard to be away from your family when you moved to Tokyo in 11th grade?I was worried, of course, about my mother's health, but I've always had a longing for Tokyo. It was the first step to make my dream come true, and it wasn't difficult at all. When I left for Tokyo, the president of my agency drove me to my parents' house in Nara, and everyone was crying a lot. I laughed, cried, and waved at them a lot. My younger sister was at an age where she didn't cry in public that much. But at that time, she was crying so much that she skipped school the next day (laughs). I was so happy because I didn't realize how much she needed me and depended on me when we were living together, so I kept in touch with her every day for a while.
──What do you notice when you're away from your family?When I went away from my family and thought about things objectively, I realized that, despite all the things I said, I did spend a lot of time with my mother. I had 4 years being an only child. I had my mother all to myself during that time, but my other siblings didn't have that. Even after my mother remarried, she continued to work to support the family. My youngest brother was born right around the time SCANDAL performed at Budokan [in 2012], and I was shocked to learn that our mother had to leave him at daycare and go to work after that. As someone who loved my mother very much, I felt I wouldn't be able to bear such a situation if I were to put myself in my brother's shoes. Even when it comes to picking up the children from kindergarten, I think mothers are special in the same way that grandmothers and neighbors take care of their children, or parents who hold their hands and walk them to the bus stop. So I immediately asked her to quit her job and stay home with the children, and I'd help her in any way I could.
──Does that mean that you support your family?Yes. I think my mother understood and was happy about it. Raising small children may not allow you to take a good rest and stay at home to take care of your body, but I want her to do it.
──Are you the eldest daughter and a father figure?Maybe so. I think it's a part of my parents' pride, but I want them to rely on me more. After all, my mother gave birth to me when she was 22 years old. That's my age right now. When I think about how she's been raising children for 23 years now, I have a huge amount of respect for her. I think, "You don't have to work so hard anymore! How many people have you raised!?" One thing I think about is that for mothers, their children are all the support they need. That's why I think that living our lives as wonderful people is what gives our mothers energy. For that reason, I also have to work hard. I feel the same way, but I want my younger siblings to think the same way and grow up properly.
──What's it like going home now?I'm a very popular person (laughs). When I go back to my parents' house, they're like, "Wow! A rare character has come back from Tokyo!" It's that kind of energy (laughs). My ordinary family members seem to be very interested in the world I live in, so they ask me questions like, "Have you met these artists before?" and "What do you think about this?" The little kids seem to fight over who gets to take a bath with me. So when I go to my parents' house, I'm extreeemely busy. It's impossible to take a break. It's like being a kindergarten teacher. They go, "RINA-chan, play that on the piano〜" and always makes me play "Bitter Chocolate" (laughs).
But I also feel happy. I think it's true for everyone, but family is really important. It's where I started from.
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